Two souls.

Lovers of ocean, sand and sky…. I wonder if we’ll meet again. Memories are stored away until nostalgia wants to open them up. I can’t forget you, I shouldn’t and I wouldn’t. The ties we’ve made were unforgettable. I know deep down you can remember, like the waves crashing against the beach. The smell of ocean salt brushing against your cheeks. I’ve seen the hell in your eyes, I didn’t want to admit it. I can see souls, not bodies. Signs of Virgo & Pisces, Brothers til the end… I’ll always be a witness of this love you’ve shared. Dripping paint across the board leaving a mark between you two was my purpose.

⌊ᶫᵉᵗ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ᵇᵘʳᶰ ∞ ᵗʰᵒᵘˢᵃᶰᵈ ˢᵘᶰˢ⌋

I Love You.

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This will be my first time touching the hot grounds underneath me. I’ve been standing on these grounds as long as I can remember. The night when you’ve took a piece of me with you. The night I watched you go, the night my love one had to go. Saying goodbye with one last breath my heart froze in time and fallen into the surreal atmosphere I call Hell. Repeating words inside my head “This isn’t real” I’m about to dive head in first into this new world of broken fragments. The memories were the first to utterly shattered me then the sight of you gone is when my heart lost the love. This is what death feels like when swallowed so quickly, you just fucking can’t. Paralyzed from a state of shock feeling just the pain you could only say Why. It’s painful to lose you’re love one. The day ones in your life that you’ll need have the power to bring your heart close to death. Connection is felt by both ends….

I Love You.

⌊ᶫᵉᵗ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ᵇᵘʳᶰ ∞ ᵗʰᵒᵘˢᵃᶰᵈ ˢᵘᶰˢ⌋

Cruel Intentions.

Yeah, this is for you… 

Control is the only thing malicious people are after. They’re waiting for you to give permission to do their wants with you. Waiting for you to give the most valuable things about you in a second. The secrets, feelings, thoughts anything to claim power over you. Intentions for their own gain, playing with your heart and mind, Just to get theirs. The only way it’s cruel if it’s real and it’s happening to you. Yes, I’ve seen and felt the play so well I’ve come to keep a distance. Watching how they’ve made a fool out of themselves; spilling lies from their split tongues.

You’ll know when I’ve come to know everything and if another is caught up in your lies. I could be madly in love with you and open-hearted but I won’t allow you to be reckless with another person’s heart, baby it just goes to show you what you can do with mine and two can play this game.

– Writer J

Intimacy.

I’ve come to realization of the lacking of closeness we’ve become. I’ve noticed it when I’ve tried to be like everyone else. The sense of belonging is set because everyone is doing it. I feel I can no longer be consistent into selling the intimacy for convenience. Something that should be shared with love and care over conversations but we rather give it away to a electric entity; a place where all relationships of all types come to die. (Social media aka the cell phone…)

Because it’s just easier to keep intimate relations that way… 

It’s much better to show my life though a looking window…

I can’t express enough how my life cannot be captured into a profile and how others are satisfy to communicate this way.

The senses crave for so much more. It kills me. When have we lost the touch of presence?

You can’t truly know who I am by a photo or a status update or even my writings at times. The purpose for letting go, letting out thoughts into the universe is how I use it. It’s written down so anyone sense it and feel in common with it. I believe it’s far more intimate than a profile. There is warmth to any WordPress, a diary or just a personal letter than a profile will ever have.

The feelings of cold when it becomes just a status, photo with a caption, a profile or a place that people just look. From friends to just people that alone says a lot.  – Writer J


⌊ᶫᵉᵗ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ᵇᵘʳᶰ ∞ ᵗʰᵒᵘˢᵃᶰᵈ ˢᵘᶰˢ⌋

Buried depression.

You’ve pressed your face against the pillow. Holding your breath to not spill again tonight. Clutching your chest reminding yourself to breathe. Yes it has come to greet itself again. 

Digging deeper….if you’ve decided to let it settle in tonight. Creeping up when you’ve been vulnerable for a few nights. You’ve let your guard down. It will never leave, it will always come back to remind itself, wanting to be claimed. A beautiful mind is the will power to fight. Know it’s okay to feel it, feel it completely my love. Know what it is and don’t be afraid of it. Fear is the only thing depression, lost and loneliness is holding on too. 

I find myself completely withdrawn at times like this. Spending time to know my light and dark has taken years of solitude and will continue because of growth. It cannot be solved by a pill or by a lover. It’s a journey only you alone must take. – Writer J

Angels & Demons

They’re higher intellectual beings.

Speaking from the other side.

Incarnation into human kind,

They’re the balance of yin and yang.

Good and evil existing for a purpose.

This negative energy felt like fangs.

Digging into the skin of the enlighten ones.

‘Tell me, how much more of the promise long suffering?…’

Protectors of Heaven & Earth.

They’ve spoken the truth.

“Though the furnace is the transformation of pure diamonds.”

Challenges are here to form us into perfection.

⌊ᶫᵉᵗ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ᵇᵘʳᶰ ∞ ᵗʰᵒᵘˢᵃᶰᵈ ˢᵘᶰˢ⌋

 

 

 

Rebel Rebel.

Break away, follow though from pain & joy.

Displaced in the human time line, she is not from this generation.

Feelings of old the young blood boils.

‘They’ve exchanged the intimacy for a instant like. A gratification for the low. Face to face morals are a thing of the past…’

Never to believe to survive in a place like this.

The rebel heart escapes, the wild calls her name.

I didn’t believe you. Telling me who I was. I refuse to be different. I didn’t want the emotions it came with it. I didn’t want it. The purpose of my existence is too great. – Writer J

The itch.

What is your secret?… 

How do you keep your composure?…

Mouths shut, hearts bleeding unnoticed.

Your inverted tears cannot hide.

But the eyes are the only ones exposed.

The direction of body movements gives it away.

You’ve swallowed your terror.

Ate that fucker alive…

Nobody will understand how it feels to kill a itch 

Nothing is more attractive than to see you try. 

⌊ᶫᵉᵗ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ᵇᵘʳᶰ ∞ ᵗʰᵒᵘˢᵃᶰᵈ ˢᵘᶰˢ⌋

(Surfing deep) pt.2

-The journal logs of vivid dreams.-

“I’m not ready to dive…” I could only watch from a distance until he disappeared with Danny into the tide. Before then he spoke to me with sincerity “Well! Come back when you are! ” shouting from a distance with their backs turned away. Watching them run brought me back to my younger self, memories of the real me. Wild and untame rebel child. I was never afraid of her for there was always a special connect since the beginning.

I’ve found myself displaced. In front of obstacles I had to face alone. I had to overcome each one to finally reach my skill. I’ve had this dream once so many. Where the water had always seep in to overwhelm me. Challenging me I could only find myself running along the shoreline with the burning sunset saying “I adore you.” rushing back to where I started. The ruin walkway was calling my name.

Dreams are powerful and meaningful. It’s your subconscious speaking to you while you sleep. -Writer J

⌊ᶫᵉᵗ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ᵇᵘʳᶰ ∞ ᵗʰᵒᵘˢᵃᶰᵈ ˢᵘᶰˢ⌋


The Enemy.

Yeah I’m afraid…

I’m fucking terrified.

Why am I this way?..

This isn’t the real me.

Or is this what fear actually is?

My legs trembling to move forward.

Dragging my feet against the road I can’t see.

The surface changes with every step.

Falling face forward and failing.

‘The Fuck is you doin’ to me…?’

The air is too thick to breathe…

I’ve fallen in so easily to my weakness.

Allowing fear to enter I’ve given permission to do what it wants.

I cry out to the one who has conquered.

It’s I, who already has…

Push harder to rise above the fear,

Loving the taste of failure how it revives the blood.

Awaken.

Much more, the heart rises like a flood.

We cannot allow no more tears to spill.

The war against the enemy is a lifetime.

Each battle is what makes us stronger.

⌊ᶫᵉᵗ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ᵇᵘʳᶰ ∞ ᵗʰᵒᵘˢᵃᶰᵈ ˢᵘᶰˢ⌋