Mixed race.

I don’t know where to start or where to begin with this particular topic for it’s been on my mind for as long as I can remember. I do wonder if there’s anyone else that relate to this as much as I do. My identity, my race, my ethnic background had always left me in fascination as to where I came from for I am mixed with 3 different continents of the world. I love history and culture because of who I am, never turning down a lesson or a story because of it. You’ll never know what you’ll learn even about yourself. 

I come from mixed parents from the Latin American culture. I was born in New York City 1990; Roots of Native, Southern European and Greek. I can’t possible tell you how long it took to find myself. My younger self was lost because of my own identity issues. Society has it’s ways of putting you in a box, a single label so you can fit into their stereotypes because it’s easier to identify. People saw me as a white person therefore leaving a stigma on me for the longest time for I can’t deny my dark roots. My mother is a dark skin version of myself after that I take on after my father, a greek white man and I can tell as to why people would say I am white because of him. I love my parents and where I come from. Being born in a place like NYC creates an edge to your personality, will I leave it behind in the future? Yes. I crave to see the places of my ancestors and experience a different life elsewhere. I have a strong belief  that everyone should at least visit the birthplace of their lineage at least once. Born mixed race is hard in a place where people just look at the surface. I love it though. 😉

Thank you to all my followers and readers. I am grateful.

❤❤❤❤❤

⌊ᶫᵉᵗ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ᵇᵘʳᶰ ∞ ᵗʰᵒᵘˢᵃᶰᵈ ˢᵘᶰˢ⌋


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Heavy.

A deep substance you can seep your fingers into… 

You’ve been holding out for so long, Waiting for the right one. The only one to bring out all the complexity of your being to the surface. You’ll see the center when you’ve come across the liking of your own. The only time you’ll ever come to know your true self.

Heavy and dense.      So unbreathable.

Opening all human senses to feel the center of gravity.  Then lose it repeatedly to start again.

This is what love feels like, beloved.

Imbalance perfection of heavy bliss.

You’ve brought out a side of me that I didn’t know existed. You saw it and when you did you show it to me so I may know it. I will never be the same.  – Writer J

⌊ᶫᵉᵗ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ᵇᵘʳᶰ ∞ ᵗʰᵒᵘˢᵃᶰᵈ ˢᵘᶰˢ⌋

Consciousness 

Energy. Underneath skin & bone. Energy is what we are made of.

The universal language of all mankind.

It’s incredible to finally see the real you in this body, you’ve let your walls come down.

I know this body is temporary by the way you burn so easily against the skin, vibrations speaking of the great escape turns deep red. Feel and taste the lovers dream with eyes ready to spill an eternal love; be ready for no one will be able to stop it or comprehend the beautiful arrangement. When the body can no longer contain the real you, you will change… 

 

The body is the limitations of the soul and spirit, increase your spirit by seeking all things of the light. – Writer J

 

⌊ᶫᵉᵗ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ᵇᵘʳᶰ ∞ ᵗʰᵒᵘˢᵃᶰᵈ ˢᵘᶰˢ⌋


RelationChips

In a world filled with handheld devices, she is the one with her hand empty to receive. – Writer J

The questions that come to mind are several But there is one question that sticks my mind more than anything else. I find myself coming back to every time…

If relationships are made of organic chemicals and everything soulful why allow something in-between that is not?… For the sake of convenience?

People have sold to this illusion to these chip devices and feel it’s much easier to keep up friendships, love and family in the limitations of a cellphone. What happen to getting to know someone out of the boundaries of social media? Meeting someone face to face before a profile? 

You can go ahead and call me crazy but I love to know someone by them telling themselves with their own words. It’s has value and substance you can feel or remember. How bonds are deepen is the time spend together and memories hold more weight than some cellphone you’ll end up changing in a year. What I’m saying is that if you want a everlasting relationship make those sacrifices to keep away from the things that aren’t made up of you. Mixing them both will only cause grief and pain; You are a human being and your needs are meant in all things organically fashioned.

Trust me I am stubborn in my ways; I could be the last human on earth and I’ll still keep this with me. I’m no sellout to myself and I wouldn’t sell short to know someone or to be with, so I’ve left my hands open to receive.

⌊ᶫᵉᵗ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ᵇᵘʳᶰ ∞ ᵗʰᵒᵘˢᵃᶰᵈ ˢᵘᶰˢ⌋

Madness.

Madness. What is it exactly?…

and why the hell does it exist…?

What purpose can it bring to any sane individual?

The fuck do I know about it. I’m just as clueless as anybody would be. I can throw rocks at broken windows just for the sake of it. Yell obscene words from left to right, screaming my head off just to feel the vibrations. Do I show it?… naw, why would anyone want to show this side to anyone. Nobody goes around doing absurd shit unless there is a reason.

Ah, yes the reason.

There gots to be a reason…

It can’t be just any other reason either, gotta be something anyone would understand. Anyone in their right mind would agree the cause of madness would be this four letter word. They’ll go to war for it, tear down walls for it, deeply claim it for their own with no regrets.

Love.

Sustainable, fulfillment and all consuming… oh how it feels like an entitlement and it really is.

Clutch your fists to keep it together darling, it isn’t over yet.

Madness is knowing ALL of this and keeping it under your skin.

It’s not until you’ll come to know someone of your caliber from all the chaotic ways love can muster up, you’ll watch it all come down.

You’ll try everything in your power to keep yourself from not falling apart but it will be futile.

Unraveling all the places you try to keep hidden will fall because that’s the purpose.

I know this now…

It’s not some mediocre bs kind of love and it’s not something you’ll see coming. The unexpected is some life changing substance and it’s an addictive. It was like we were made to be this way.  Madness will drive us to throw stones at the windows to shed the light in our lives we seek so badly.

Drunk on Madness….

I’ll tell you this… It’s better to know your madness, know it well because it’s there for you to know real love.

Mad love is the center of all things made.

⌊ᶫᵉᵗ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ᵇᵘʳᶰ ∞ ᵗʰᵒᵘˢᵃᶰᵈ ˢᵘᶰˢ⌋

Open shut mouths.

There are two different types of people…

One would say “Why speak of everything?.. Why would you let anyone know?… You’ve become vulnerable. ”

The opposite of thoughts come into me as if there was an angel and a devil on my shoulders whispering gentle nothings. I can hear a voice inside of me speaking clearly to my chest like my heart was listening. “Why keep it in?… be open to everyone so they may find closure in their life… what if this is the connection? Share my deepest here, right now. No regrets.”

I am both.

Spilt between the frames of my thoughts fear can easily creep in and spoil the good intentions. The fear comes from listening to the bullshit people say about you, giving away too much of yourself and how it can be used against you. Has it happen yet…? Yes. A lot of shit happens but My mouth is an unpredictable force of nature regardless what people can do, feel or think. I can never hold on to my deepest thoughts.

I want to learn, feel, speak with action that so many fear of; these are my life lessons and I won’t be silent for the sake of others or myself. Be sensitive for the right reasons, be bold when the time comes whatever you do, don’t let your heart harden. Life is too beautiful to not allow your heart to spill, beloved.

⌊ᶫᵉᵗ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ᵇᵘʳᶰ ∞ ᵗʰᵒᵘˢᵃᶰᵈ ˢᵘᶰˢ⌋

Dear Chester,

You’re a reflection of my adolescent years. I remember putting the Hybrid Theory album in that purple CD player I kept like treasure, blasting my ears to your voice was my way of escape. I couldn’t believe it at that age I found it though your music. They were real vocals I’ve felt to the core, you’ve placed a mark on me forever to always express the way I feel. Screaming out the anguish and pain you’ve experienced, I felt every bit of it though your music. The abuse you’ve dealt with since childhood, I knew the demons wouldn’t let go. No matter how much a person can heal, the wounds will always find a way to Re-open. The mind has gone over the edge… and the demons have won. I couldn’t believe it when I saw your name in the news this morning. My heart dropped, you took your life away while you gave purpose to mine all those years ago. I was just a kid angry at the world for treating me the way it did. I know you had reasons but I wish you didn’t have to go and I wish we knew this whole time this was you asking for help.

⌊ᶫᵉᵗ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ᵇᵘʳᶰ ∞ ᵗʰᵒᵘˢᵃᶰᵈ ˢᵘᶰˢ⌋

Nomad.

I’ve seen and been there and you’ve never believed me if I told you. I’ve lived in the center of the world to the far areas of the land where no one is found. Familiar voices and faces of past blends with present greetings. The moment I’ve felt like I’ve met you before. It’s deep and fascinating to know where you come from. Most likely we’re carrying traits rooted to our growing years. A place where we have been before. People we’ve met and spoke to but never kept. Sharing common grounds of past and present is our only interest. The future hold so dearly to a wondrous life and time is the only essence of this life. The nomad had many homes, many friends and family. Never to settle in one place; Seeking the center of the world to it’s ends. Experiencing this life like a nomad is what we cannot help doing. This life choose us, calls from the wild of our indigenous ancestors. The blood of the nomad flows free in our veins.

⌊ᶫᵉᵗ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ᵇᵘʳᶰ ∞ ᵗʰᵒᵘˢᵃᶰᵈ ˢᵘᶰˢ⌋

What I cannot attached too is the reason for who I am. I am this, I seek more than the ordinary. – Writer J

 

 

Closer.

-The journal logs of vivid dreams-

We’ve met in dreams occasionally. I can see why we do sometimes. It’s a bond not like any other and I wouldn’t want it any other way. The higher level of consciousness we’ve brought together cannot be reached by just anyone. You’ve given me your hand and I given mine, Everything said and done.  I promise to be open always, never again to bite my tongue for the sake of humanity and to you. We spoke the truth of our lives each word taken in deeply. Warm vibrations of love like the presence of cosmic stars. Erecting love and lost in the place of light. Before the world was placed we have met in the place where we were made. Created by the same substance of life. Closer to the creator of dreams. We are the same.

I write them down so I’ll never forget them. I keep this open so that the heart who feels the same way know…. I am here. – Writer J

The glass bottle.

-The journal logs of vivid dreams-

I’ve no longer bitten down the tongue that wishes to speak. I’ve come too close to reach my inner me. I am searching for you. Walking though the aisle standing on a shelf the green bottle wrapped with twine, shinning and glistering from sun rays. I was drawn to it completely. I placed my fingers against the wrappings and a beautiful sound of winds came out. I began to make music tracing my fingers against it. A harmony written inside. A love I’ve always been searching for… is this you calling me back? It’s time to speak love, passion and beauty. Yes, this is the time.

⌊ᶫᵉᵗ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ᵇᵘʳᶰ ∞ ᵗʰᵒᵘˢᵃᶰᵈ ˢᵘᶰˢ⌋